Torsey's Blog

Posts Tagged ‘love’

The poet Oscar Wild, wrote these moving lines: ”Children begin by loving their parents. After some time, they judge their parents. Rarely, if ever, do they forgive them”. It is a well known fact that the well-being of today’s children is inseparable from the peace, progress and prosperity of tomorrow’s world. It is, therefore, important that children be nurtured in an environmentally sustainable pattern to promote national and global peace and progress. The importance of their welfare was underlined during the World Summit for Children in September, 1990, held under the auspices of the United Nations International Children Education Fund (UNICEF) where world leaders maintained that ”unless the investment in children is made, all of humanity’s most fundamental long-term problems will remain fundamental long term problems”. Put succinctly, children are a country’s most precious assets and they demand the highest priority on both national and international investments. In spite of this open acknowledgement of the importance of their survival to our collective global future, evidence abounds that children are facing the worst tragedy in the world today. In a recent seminar organized by the United Nations non-government liaison services in Geneva, participants at the seminar from more than 120 countries were in agreement that ”millions of children around sub-Saharan Africa live under especially difficult circumstances where special protection measures are required to enable them enjoy fulfillment of their basic rights”. These children in addition to being poor, are exploited, abused, abandoned, neglected, disabled and deprived of liberty. The greatest manifestations of child abuse, exploitation, deprivation and neglect are very obvious in situations where children are used as a veritable source of cheap labour, soldiers, and prostitutes against their innocent and passive will. Many children seldom report cases of such abuses against them and most child abusers rely on this fact to continue in their wicked acts. Child labour thrives in our societies today mainly because some employers consider it cheaper to employ and over-work children who have very weak resistance to exploitation and oppression than adults. Such employers often betray and take undue advantage of the innocence of children’s dependence and trust. Families also use child labour to make additional income. While some of the hapless children are engaged in domestic duties of hawking goods, others are made to do hard labour meant for adults. Some Non-Governmental Organizations, (NGOs) have continued to express their concern over this unfair practice that is conducted not only in Nigeria, but also in other countries of the world. In an interview granted to a newsmagazine, Mr. A.C. Onukwue, a director of Media Environment Initiative (MEI) in Nigeria said that ”children as young as eight years old are being subjected to a bland agreement by their parents to serve as slaves all their childhood and youths in the name of apprenticeship”. Those working as domestic servants are the most exploited and most difficult to protect. Most of them are girls who live with their employers and are totally dependent on them. The United Nations Organization (UNO) as stated in our articles at http://globalinterchange.wetpaint.com and the Organisation of African Unity (OAU) have made some legal provisions in their bid to checkmate this growing monster. Article 32 of the United Nations Convention of the rights of the child and article XV of the Organisation of African Unity Charter on the rights and welfare of the child, unanimously condemn child labour in all its ramifications. The two articles recognize ”the rights of the child to be protected from economic exploitation and from performing any work that is likely to be hazardous, or to interfere with the child’s education or physical, mental, spiritual, moral or social developments”. In Asia, South America and some migrant communities in the United States, it has been reported that children even as young as five years of age are forced into what can be termed ”slave labour”. They work like little robots in dreadful conditions that damage their immature bodies and minds. Most of them have no education, are homeless and deprived of parental love and care. Children as Child-Labourers Most people have argued that the main cause of child labour is poverty. Others are economic and social inequality, war, unemployment, broken homes and juvenile delinquency. The merchants of children peddle stories of pleasurable life awaiting the kids in the cities in order to entice their victims from their poverty-stricken parents. Most poor parents swallow such stories hook, line and sinker and so inadvertently release their children to the slave merchants. Because of the nature of their minds, children believe what they are told by adults without reservation. Some of them on hearing such false stories of bright future awaiting them at imaginary lands, sometimes sneak away from their homes to be taken away without their parents’ knowledge. Most of them also follow child merchants because their parents find it difficult to feed, clothe and train them in school. Though many children in the advanced industrial nations and in some urban centers of the Third World countries enjoy good care and welfare, yet it is obvious that majority of them in some rural and urban areas whose parents are living below subsistence level are more often exposed to this risk. The situation has been considered dangerous enough that it was brought to focus in 1997 at a forum organized by the International Labor Organization (ILO) and the United Nations International Children Education Fund (UNICEF) for journalists in Lagos to deliberate upon. The theme of the forum was The Impact of Child Labour on Development. Participants at the forum agreed that child labour exists in Nigeria as in other parts of the world. It is interesting to note that most of these unsuspecting children lured from their homes in Nigeria are taken to Gabon in Central Africa and other neighboring countries where they are subjected to the highest form of child abuse. Children as Articles of Trade But how widespread are cases of child abuse? Let us at this stage; embark on a historical excursion in order to reveal the extent of abuse and danger our children had been exposed to. On May 30, 1995 when 330 Nigerian deportees arrived in Calabar from Gabon, 109 of them were children below 16 years of age. Again, in March 1996, four students of Ikono Ibom Comprehensive Secondary School, Ikot Aya, Akwa Ibom State, Nigeria were cajoled into embarking on a trip to Gabon by a fellow student. But these students, made up of three girls and a boy whose ages were between 10 and 14 years were lucky as they could not reach their destination. As fate would have it, officers of Nigerian Immigration Service intercepted their boat at the Oron Creek. And in January 1997, 150 Gabon-bound children were rescued from a camp at Mkpanak near Ibeno. Among the children aged between 11 and 18 years were 20 Nigerians. The rest of them came from neighboring Togo, Benin Republic and Ghana. In February 1997, 86 under aged children were freed after a raid on an uncompleted building at Ibeno, Akwa Ibom State. It was reported that the nefarious dealers on children had intended to ship them to Gabon before they were rescued. A breakdown of the rescued children’s nationalities showed that 25 were from Nigeria, 23 from Togo while 38 were from Benin Republic. Of the 86 kids, 46 were girls. It is also sad that not all of these children had been lucky. The hapless ones do not get to their destinations and do not live to tell their stories. In January 1996, more than 200 persons perished in the high seas of Ibeno Beach. About 73 per cent of the victims were school children, some of whom were in their school uniforms. These difficult circumstances represent serious hazards and risks to the survival and development of our future generation. Children as Sex Tools Apart from child labour and trafficking, sexual harassment is another area of high risk that confronts our children. Convincing indication of the enormity of this crime was tendered at the World Congress Against Commercial Sexual Exploitation of Children held in Stockholm, Sweden, in 1996 which was attended by representatives of 130 countries. For instance, it was documented that in several parts of the world, there are millions of young girls, some even as young as 10 years of age who are constrained to work as call girls. After years of physical, mental, and emotional molestation, these girls are scarred for life. In most cases, they surrender to this atrocity simply because they want to eat and stay alive; just the same way as girls who work as prostitutes under the conditions explained in our articles at http://globalinterchange.wetpaint.com . The option is like choosing between six and half a dozen. As a result of such abuse, some children develop social and psychiatric problems later in life. Furthermore, the activities of pedophiles who occupy influential positions in our society do not help matters. Pedophile refers to a psychological disorder which causes adults to be sexually attracted to children whose sexual experience is nil. In August 1997, a Dublin Chief Judge, Cyril Kelly, committed Reverend Berndan Smith a 72 -year old Roman Catholic priest to 12 years imprisonment for a case involving 74 count charges of indecent and sexual assaults against children. Rev.Smith who admitted to a 36-year career of sex offences against a total of 26 children in the Republic of Ireland, pleaded guilty to the charges. The Daily Telegraph of June 2, 1998 carried a report on a 44-year old soccer coach who used his position of trust to abuse young boys. He was jailed for nine years after pleading guilty to 23 specimen charges against children. The Chester Crown Court was told that from 1978 to 1992, the coach invited boys from the North West and Midlands to stay with him or go on holiday to North Wales and Spain where the offences took place. According to The Daily Telegraph: “Benndell would take the boys into his trust by offering them the chance of not only training with his teams but also an occasion at Grewe Alexandra and Manchester City”. Children As Child Soldiers Compounding the tragedy further, there has been an increase in the use of child soldiers in guerrilla armies. Children are easily kidnapped, separated from their parents and siblings and conscripted into the army to fight wars. In such situations they are systematically brutalized, at times by being forced to watch gruesome murder. Some have been ordered to kill their own parents, brothers and/or sisters. Where they find it difficult to carry out these bloody assignments as a result of their innocence, such children are encouraged and compelled to take drugs in order to heighten their killer instinct. In Freetown, Sierra Leone, child soldiers whose innocence had been destroyed by the crimes of a protracted civil war resolved that they were not going to hands-off arms. They took the resolution in October, 1998 when Carol Bellamy the then UNICEF’s head in Sierra Leone, asked them in Bo to surrender their weapons. The child soldiers belonged to the hunter militia group known as Kamajor. In addition, children generally suffer a high death rate during civil or international wars. Most of them die of hunger or hunger related diseases such as kwashiorkor. Because they are fragile and defenseless, they are easy victims in war situations. On August 31, 1997 about 21 children fell into a swimming pool in panic and got drowned in Nsele, 60 kilometers east of Kinshasa, capital city of the Democratic Republic of Congo when some armed troops tried to maintain order in the area. In Northern Uganda, rebels of the Lords Resistance Army (LRA), headed by Joseph Kony, who have been fighting against the Ugandan government have continued to carry out atrocities against children in that country. It is interesting to note that children are gradually becoming aware of the injustice and oppression against them by the adult world. In July 1997, Eric Ndelema, a councilor from Kaziso, West Rand, was stoned to death by an irate mob of about 200 primary school children. The mob also set his house ablaze. Mary Martins, a sergeant and South African Police spokesman, confirmed the incident that occurred in Johannesburg but said that the motive for the attack was not yet known. If the cause of the attack was not known, perhaps the peaceful demonstration that was carried out by children from January 5 to June 4, 1998 is enough proof that children are gradually getting fed up with the whole game. Pakistan played host to the global march against child labour in April, 1998 as part of a campaign to draw world attention to children’s rights. The campaigners, numbering about 45,000 children from various countries, walked through Manila, Vietnam, Thailand, India and Geneva into the boarder town of Wahgah, 25 kilometers from Lahore, capital of Pakistan, amidst cheers from the citizens. Kailash Trithay, the leader of the demonstration said his group was carrying a message from every working child that “the world should be free of child abuse”. In spite of the above facts, which are by no means exhaustive, it appears that not many countries of the world have taken definitive stand against this global monster of child abuse which is threatening to turn our God-given children into slaves and make this world an unsafe place for those who are undoubtedly our leaders of tomorrow. Children should be allowed to enjoy interaction and global friendship as contained in http://nigerlove.wetpaint.com. The situation quickly calls to mind, the admonition of an erudite scholar, Martin Luther King, who once remarked that “the world is full of evil today not because of those who do evil, but because of men who keep silent and watch evil being done”. N.B:Due to requests from my readers to write a book on the habit of MASTURBATION, I am pleased to inform you that I have written a book titled, MASTURBATION: How to Overcome and Quit the Habit. 

Whatever your child’s talents, you can help him feel loved and therefore empowered to do whatever he desires. This involves concentrating on your interaction and personal relationship with your child, the language you use, the love you show, the trust and responsibility you bestow upon him, and just being happy with him whatever his likes and dislikes, and whoever he is.

The way we think influences how we feel, our self-esteem and our achievement. I’m sure many of us can recall times when we had a thought, like for example, “I know I will let the team down again”, and then, true to our word, we do just that. So being conditioned to have positive thoughts rather than negative can make all the difference to us achieving our goals, and even when a child is good at something, he can achieve so much more and even be the best, if he believes he can do it.

So how can we foster such a belief in our child?

1. Our language is powerful. Children respond tremendously to positive praise when they do anything good or well, but equally as important is your willingness to overlook the things they don’t do so well. Always look for, draw upon and build upon, the best, rather than the weaknesses in your child.

2. Express your love to your kids, no matter what their age. As they reach teenage, this is something we may not do as frequently. Always let them know you love them – it is your close, trusting and stable relationship with them that is the strong foundation on which they can build, and achieve, anything in their lives.

3. We’ve all met the over-zealous parent who pushes his child to be good at lots of things, to do his best in absolutely everything, and have high standards. It’s good for children to know, however, that they don’t have to be good at absolutely everything, and that they respect their limitations. A child who feels he has to be something he’s not, will feel disheartened and a failure.

4. From an early age, encourage your child to be independent, doing things for himself, starting with the smallest of tasks like hanging his coat up, right up to running errands and finding a job. Giving kids responsibility gives them power and the knowledge that you consider them to be responsible and trustworthy. If you’re always coming from a position of distrust or little confidence in his abilities, then he will respond accordingly.

5. If a child wants to do something for himself, then let him (within reasons of safety, of course). Unless you can find a compelling reason not to, always say ‘yes’ to their willingness and enthusiasm in doing things for themselves. It shows you believe in them and gives them the confidence to try new tasks.

Have you noticed that when you’re happy people smile at you? It’s because the way you are feeling on the inside shows on the outside, even if you are not aware of it yourself. What we feel on the inside is projected outwards from us. Likewise, in order to love others and give love to others, we must first love ourselves. Being happy and having a positive attitude and self-esteem are more important than anything else because they are the foundations on which we and our children can build in order to do and achieve anything in our lives, because to be successful in career, business, education or anything, we must be able to build relationships with others.

So rather than worrying about what your child is achieving or not achieving, concentrate on your interaction and personal relationship with your child. Children will always have their strengths and weaknesses, be particularly gifted in certain things, and confusingly clumsy and slow in others. Whatever his talents, you can help your child feel loved and therefore empowered in whatever he desires to do.

Cheating is, of course, one of the biggest reasons that relationships break up.  When cheating has occurred, the other person believes “I can’t ever trust him or her again.”

That is a common refrain when cheating occurs.  Trust is essential to close, intimate, real love.  When it is broken, we feel like there is no hope for getting it back.  Even if we loved much about our mate, if they cheated on us, we don’t see how we could ever be happy again with them, how could we trust them after such a sense of betrayal.  You can learn more about how to get your ex back after infidelity here.

TRUST, then, is a huge issue in break ups.  Before your partner can even consider taking you back, they have to feel they can somehow trust you not to cheat on them again.  Obviously, why take you back if it’s just likely to be more of the same?  When there has been infidelity, one of the big things on your ex’s mind is

Can I ever feel that I can trust you after this?

Clearly, if they split with you because of a problem issue like infidelity, they need to know In Advance of letting you ocme back that you won’t hurt them that way again, you won’t keep doing what you did.

But the feeling of broken trust is one of the hardest things for an ex to get over.  After all, we usually feel like trust gets built over a long time.  Emotionally, we believe when trust is broken that our relationship can’t be fixed, right?

You must understand the trust issue to see how you can get back together with your ex.  If you can’t deal with the feelings of betrayal and broken trust and the complete emotional distance that it causes, you won’t be able to get back together.  And, if you do somehow luck out and they give you another chance, it won’t last, because without trust there can’t be the feeling of closeness and intimacy we all really want.

How might you deal with your ex’s lack of trust?  It’s a complex answer, but one thing that often happens after cheating is we try to avoid the blame.  We try to say it wasn’t our fault.  We say “I drank too much,” or “You were mean to me!”  When a relationship buster like infidelity has happened, we will almost naturally try to avoid taking the blame. 

If you give those types of excuses to your ex, they will often think even worse of you and any chances of getting back together.  When you drink again will you cheat again?  If they are cold or mean to you in a month, will you use it as an excuse to cheat again?  So what you can do instead is to be an adult and to accept responibility.  Take full blame.  Do not give weak excuses to your mate.  You can learn a full system for how to get your ex back here.

Instead of weak excuses, you can say something like “I know I broke your trust in me, and I’m so sorry that I did this and made you feel so hurt…”

That is a powerful start to repairing the trust.  If you got cheated on hearing that can help you to begin to deal with the infidelity.  Its like when you have kids and they screw up and you catch them and they try to lie or blame someone else it makes you much angrier.  But if they own up to it you can forgive them much more easily.

There are many other steps that need to be followed before you can truly begin to repair the trust, but this is a very big initial step!  Go here for a free course on How To Have Loving Marriage Help.

You can fix relationship problems when you’re the only one trying, even when your partner doesn’t seem like changing.  There are several skills to help make this happen, and a great one to start with is the 4 Step Quick Change Method. This is How To Get Relationship Advice that makes a difference.

First Step:  Be specific about what you want to change.  What specifically would make the relationship better for you?  More quality time together?  More real communication?  Less conflict?

What’s important here is to be as specific and clear as you can be about the change you want to see.  That way, you’ll be more likely to get it.

The Second Step:  Make an intimate request of your mate, being as concrete as you can about the change you want.  Don’t say “We need to communicate better.”  That is too vague and doesn’t help your mate see what you specifically want. Good Relationship Advice can really help you make changes for the better.

Be much more specific by saying something like “Can we spend some quality time talking about our day after we get home from work?”  Make it very easy for your partner to see what you want them to do.

The Third Step:  You’ve made a specific request, so expect a specific answer.  Let your partner either say yes, no, or maybe.  Don’t let them ignore you.

Often times they will just say yes.  If it is a reasonable request, your partner will often want to make you happy by saying yes.  If they negotiate How about we talk about our day during dinner rather than right when we get home, thats fine, you want it to work for them.  If they say No, dont freak.

Step Four is how to deal with them if they say no to your request.  First off, you don’t need to start screaming or stalk off in frustration.  Often times it will be a delayed yes, they will just eventually start doing what you asked.

And sometimes, their no will be authentic, and then you need to honor it and make your own choices.  But if they say no, you can always ask again tomorrow or next week, if it is important to you don’t just accept the first no, ask again, this can help them get to yes.

Fixing relationship problems when you are the only one trying isn’t easy.  This tool will help.  You can make things better with a little of the right kind of focus and effort. You can get more help for relationships here.

Brace yourself,  I am about to bare some strong methods on how to get an ex boyfriend back. These might even shock you because most girls when attempting to get an ex boyfriend back totally ignore these. These type of break ups are hard to deal with. You can’t stop thinking about the situation and you are going through a constant torture. The funny thing is that in most relations after they have finished, both partners at the rear of their minds need to get back together again.

I have put together some pointers for ladies who are lost as to how to get an ex boyfriend back, and these will actually help you to get the ball rolling.

After a break it is ordinary to feel distressing and  hurt. Don’t try to cover the pain you’re going thru. If you feel like crying, cry to your heart’s content. Do not try to suppress it, as by suppressing it you will throw yourself into a state of depression. By permitting yourself to miss, this can help you heal the discomfort really quickly.

After the dust has settled a bit and you are clear in your judgement, sit down and have a think during the last events and try and identify what went incorrect. This will help you realise what were the issues that caused the break up, which is the first step to get an ex boyfriend back. It’ll also bring to light as to whose fault it was, and if you are feeling you had a more contributing role to the break up then this is your opportunity to put your hand up, accept that you definitely made a mistake, and learn from it.

More frequently than not, break ups are due to certain personality characteristics or bad habits. If you realize that the break up was due to one of your traits or bad habits then this is your chance to work out if you can change yourself or give up that certain bad habit.

If you feel the break up was due to your ex boyfriend’s fault or one of his personality characteristics or bad habits then be aware of that and when you meet up you might raise this point and see what he needs to say to this.

Many girls refuse to act on this tip point blank. But if you are truly serious about discovering how to get my ex boyfriend back then this one technique can go a great distance. And that is to cosset him and send him gifts, you will even need to let him know that you miss him. But only do this when they are actively listening to you and the best time for this is some weeks after the break up.
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We never really got any training on how to apologize powerfully.  Sure, all of us know how to say I’m sorry.  But if you did your ex wrong and now you want them back, you’re going to need to say something much more powerful than I’m sorry.

There is a free course you can download instantly on this at Getting Your Ex Back In Hours.

There are, however, other levels of apologizing.  There are much more impactful ways of saying Im sorry.  When your relationship has ended because you did something wrong and your ex kicked you out,  you will likely need to make a power apology.

Power apologies have several steps to them before you ever get around to saying I’m sorry.  They can get your ex to a place of forgiveness and reconnection sometimes in just minutes or hours when followed step by step.  Here are the crucial steps to apologizing in a way that can your ex to forgive you:

The first step in a Power Apology is to own up to what you did wrong.  Don’t offer a bunch of stories or try to blame your ex “you were cold to me and I was drunk!”  Fessing up to what you did wrong is powerful, it lets you mate  know that you understand the core problem.

The second step is to mirror their feelings.  This is powerful relationship intelligence.  How do you mirror their feelings?  You say something like I know what I did hurt you, and made you feel betrayed, and sad.  You tell your ex how what you did made them feel.  Mirroring their emotional state is potent emotional intelligence.   Your ex will start to feel really heard.

The third step is to let them vent.  Now you let them tell you how they feel about what you did wrong.  You don’t argue, you dont defend yourself, you let them get their angry and hurt feelings off their chest.  Your only job here is to make them feel heard and understood.

To understand more about the power of venting, you can check out the information at a site on Relationship Intelligence.

If you have followed these first three steps, you are well on your way to making an apology that will get accepted and lead to forgiveness.  By this point you have not tried to blame or defend yourself to your ex for what you did wrong.  You have been an adult and taken responsibility.  At some level they will respect this.    Then you have surprised them by mirroring their feelings, so they are feeling like you understand them.  And finally, you have listened to them, let them vent and get things off their chest.

Once you have done these three things, you are now ready to actually apologize.  And your apology will much more likely be accepted, which can lead your ex back into your arms fast.

Part 2 of this article discusses the steps to take after you’ve apologized, and it can be seen here at Get Ex Back Part 2.

You’ve broken up with your ex.  A little time has passed and now you want to get your ex back.  What relationship advice can help? Learning some more about these topics can help: How To Fix Relationship Problems can help in lots of ways.

During your break up, feelings of anger or hatred or sadness replaced feelings of love and closeness, right?  You started feeling angry or betrayed instead of loving and intimate.  That’s why you fought and had a break up.  This happens every day all over the world.

But after a short while you started to have feelings of regret and you began to miss those feelings of softness and closeness you had with your mate.  What is happening is that your hurt and bad feelings are changing.  This is an important thing to note about emotions.  Angry, hurt feelings aren’t set in stone.  Feelings change.

You know this from your own life.  You’ve been sad about some things and the sadness goes away after a while, doesn’t it?  You get really angry as somebody, yet even a day later you aren’t as mad.  That’s how emotions work.  They change.  Good ones, bad ones, they will shift.  This is useful Emotional Logic to pay attention to.  Emotions shift, they change all the time for all of us.

You know this first hand.  While you were breaking up with your ex, you were angry or very hurt and sad.  Now, those feelings are being replaced, shifting back to desire and longing for the closeness and connection you had with your mate.  Now you want to give it another go.  Your feelings have shifted.  It seems obvious, but the point is important:  feelings change.

But while feelings change, some emotions can get stuck.  The can last a lot longer, can’t they?  If, for example, you cheated on your ex, this can bring up feelings of betrayal and shame.  These are very difficult emotions to process, and you ex may still be very stuck with them.  They aren’t shifting or changing very much at all!

So how can you use something like Emotional Logic to help get back with your ex?  Simple.  You can help them to vent, to get those bad feelings “off their chest.”  Help them to get them out.  So, when you talk to them, ask how they are feeling about what you did or the break up.  Then try to be quiet and give them time to form up their emotions into words and “vent” them.  Listening is an important step in or to Get Your Ex Back In Hours.

Don’t argue.  Don’t defend yourself.  That just creates more argument.  Instead, make them feel heard and understood.  Ten minutes of venting can really help their negative feelings get released.   Letting your ex vent all over you a time or two after a break up can help them to let go of anger and move back towards more kindly feelings towards you.

There is a lot more to this, but helping your ex to vent their negative feelings is an important step to getting them back in your life.  Emotions change, and you want to help your ex through the process of changing their bad feelings for you into more intimate ones.

You can get a free course here about the specific steps to get your ex back

Improving your relationship is not usually hard work.  Here are the top three tips you can put to use today to make your relationship even better.  More detailed information on all of this is available in a free relationship course 7 Vital Relationship Insights You Never Learned In School.

Top Tip Number One:  Play!  Studies have shown that the more play you have with your partner, the less fighting there will be.  So if you are fighting a lot, play more, and test this out for yourself.  Just a little bit of timea day of playing with your lover can begin to change the feel of your whole relationship.

So do you have a date night at least once a week where you both go spend time playing together like you did in the beginning?  Make the time to have fun with your mate!

Top Practice Number Two:  Get Better At Conflict.  Conflict will occur in any relationship.  Studies have shown that how spouses deal with conflict determines the length and quality of the relationship.  During conflict we all tend to revert emotionally to 7 year olds, but screaming at your mate or expressing contempt are some of the big trouble signs for a relationship.

As you will be arguing with your love from time to time anyway, it is good to start now to take some time to learn how to deal with conflict in healthy ways.  One technique is to learn to attack less during a fight and use “I” statements rather than “you” statements to discuss how you feel.  You can get some free training on conflict and Emotional Intelligence here.

Top Secret Number Three is to Minimize the Mind Reading.  Your partner can’t read your mind.  They don’t actually just know what you want and need.  Appreciate this and help them out by asking for what you want.  If you need some time to yourself, ask.  If you need them to just listen instead of give you their advice, ask for that as well.

By asking for what you need, you can prevent a lot of fights and sulking.Additionally, you can teach your partner to ask for what they need so that both of you are not expected to be mind readers.  That’s being a good lover.

There is obviously a lot more to each of these three topics.  Books have been written on them.  But spending some time and effort on these three principles will pay off for your relationship over the long term.  If you’d like to learn more about Relationship Intelligence to transform your love life, you can fix relationship problems with a free course.