Torsey's Blog

Posts Tagged ‘Educating Teenagers’

The number one cause of death amongst youngster between the ages of 15 and 24 is drunk driving and so educating your teenagers about the dangers of drinking and driving is particularly important, not only for their own protection but for the protection of other road users and pedestrians.The first mistake which many parents make in this area is to assume that they do not need to raise the subject until their own teenagers learn to drive. You do not need to be behind the wheel of a car to understanding the dangers of drunk driving and, like everything else you teach your children, the earlier they learn the more likely the lessons are to stick.When it comes to the consequences of drunk driving teenagers need to fully understand just what it means to kill another person on the road and the devastating impact which this can have on their family and friends. But they also need to realize that many people are also injured as a result of drunk driving and they and their families may have to live with the consequences of severe injury for the rest of their lives. This is not always easy for a teenager to understand but it is a lesson which they need to learn.It is also important for teenagers to fully understand the consequences of being caught behind the wheel of a car while intoxicated. So, find out about the drink driving laws in your state and clearly spell out the consequences of a drink driving conviction. Explain to them that a drink driving conviction can not only land them in jail, but can also ruin their career prospects and prevent them from getting a good job.Now, despite your best efforts, it is still quite possible that your teenager is going to find himself in the position of having had too much to drink when he is out with the car and being caught between driving the car home when he knows he is not fit to do so, or calling you and getting yelled at for being so irresponsible. So, this too is something which you need to discuss with him before it happens.Remember that we all do silly things when we are young and the most important thing is to stay safe, learn our lesson and live to try again to get it right next time. So, if your child is in this position he must know that he can call you no matter what condition he is in or what time of the day or night it is to come and pick him up.This is not to say that you are condoning his actions in getting drunk or that he should not be punished for his irresponsibility. But your first job is to keep him safe and make him realize that he made the right, sensible and mature decision by calling you for help.Finally remember that there is no better way to teach your children anything than through your own example and that means making sure that you never drink and drive yourself. If your children see you leaving your car keys at home and taking a taxi to go out to a party then they will follow suit.

Our teenagers’ lives are often a closed book to us and no matter how hard we try they simply will not let us open the book and read what is inside. But how are we supposed to protect out children and help them to develop into self-sufficient and confident adults if we do not know what they are doing, where they are going, who they are hanging out with, what they are thinking and how they are feeling?Well, here are four tips that might help to open that closed book at least enough to take a glimpse inside.Tip 1 – Start when your kids are young. It is much easier to keep a relationship rolling along than it is to start it up in the first place and this is especially true when it comes to our kids. If we start literally from the day they are born and build a close and strong relationship then life will be fairly easy when they reach those difficult teenage years. However, if we maintain our distance from our kids, or simply do not have time to get close to them, when they are young then it is going to become increasingly difficult to do so as they get older.Tip 2 – Look for common ground. We all have things which we like to do on our own or without our partner and one partner might enjoy playing bridge with friends while the other is out playing golf or fishing. But, it is also important for partners to share interests and to have some things, such as cooking, gardening or hiking which they enjoy doing together. This is not simply true of partners and should also extend to parents and children. So, find something, and preferably two or three things, which you and your kids can enjoy together and which gives you a common interest to talk about.Tip 3 – Listen to what your children say and keep an open mind. The teenage years are a time when children tend to form opinions very quickly and often without an adequate understanding of the subject to hand. This in turn means that they will often come out with comments which you find concerning or which you simply do not like or agree with. Take the time however to listen to what they have to say and try not to be judgmental. There is nothing wrong with telling them that do not agree with them or do not approve of something as long as you explain why and do not turn what you are saying into an attack on them.Tip 4 – Spend time with your children. One of the main concerns for most teenagers is that they do not get to spend enough time with their parents and this is often seen as a case of their parents simply not caring enough about what they are doing or how they are feeling. One significant result of this is that teenagers also often feel that they cannot talk to their parents when they have a problem and want some help.Many of us lead busy lives but were we talking about a client instead of our own child you can bet your bottom dollar that we would make the time needed to spend with that client. Well, our children are far more important than any client and so it should not really be too difficult to set aside some time each day, or at the very least each week, to devote ourselves solely to each of our children for a while.There are many ways to make sure that we are spending enough time with our kids and often it is simply a matter of organizing ourselves for efficiently. One simple way to achieve our aims is to make sure that the whole family sits down to dinner each evening and that this is a time to both eat and talk. Another way to spend time with your teen is to drive him to school each morning rather than let him ride the bus. Yet another suggestion is to play sport together once or twice a week. There are countless ways to make time for your teenagers if you put your mind to it.