Reading, Writing, ’rithmetic…and the Role of Mom & Dad: an Inspiring New Book Spotlights How Much We Matter in our Kids’ Education

 By Tom Bloch

It’s no secret that schools across the nation are in trouble. Teachers are overstressed, overwhelmed, and unable to get students to cooperate. If you’re a parent of school-aged kids, this is a distressing reality. In the whirlwind of work, household chores, social commitments, and everything else that sucks up your time, it’s incredibly hard to take an active role in their education. I’ve realized two things: 1) without parental involvement, kids are far less likely to live up to their potential, and 2) with encouragement and caring, even kids from the toughest homes can thrive. So just imagine what your own children can do.

Chances are, few readers will be able to identify with the severe challenges faced by some of the kids I’ve taught. Still, I believe all parents can benefit from what I’ve learned. My book not only showcases the grim dynamics of the inner city classroom, but it also illuminates the truth about what kids need to succeed. Having committed adults who care and push them to excel tops the list.

I ended up co-founding an inner city college preparatory charter school called University Academy, located in an area of Kansas City known for its crime and poverty. The school serves over 1,000 students in kindergarten through grade twelve. Over the last five years, all but two students who have graduated from UA went on to attend college, a remarkable accomplishment for an urban school.

Through my experiences I have learned techniques that help underserved kids from low-income, broken families discover their self-confidence, ambition, and a sense of accountability. Much of the success is due to the school itself, but in so many cases parental involvement makes the biggest difference. When parents of UA students get involved and stay involved, the kids succeed at high rates.

Keep reading for a few of my own tips on how to engage your children and prime them for optimum learning and success in school.

Brush up on your own reading, writing, and ’rithmetic. Perhaps the best way to guarantee that your kids succeed in school is to review their homework with them each evening. It is not at all uncommon for parents to have to re-learn entire subjects to help their children succeed. Help them grasp a concept they’re struggling with. Remind yourself that nothing else—no TV show, no housework, nothing—is more important than your children’s academic and character development.

Invest in more of the intangibles and less of the tangibles for your children. I have noticed that even low-income families send their children to school in the most expensive Nike shoes. What this proves to me is that materialism is rampant in society—not just in high-income families, but in all families. Kids need to learn to discover more value in enrichment activities and less value in status symbols. On holidays and birthdays, choose to give your children life experiences in addition to material objects. Take a trip to a historic site within a day’s drive. Or buy a musical instrument for your child along with the weekly lessons. One day he or she will be grateful for the memories and useful skills you will have helped create.

Don’t expect teachers to raise your child. Some parents expect schools to do all the work in educating and socializing their children. But this is both irresponsible and impossible. It must be a dual effort. When parents instill respect, responsibility, caring, and compassion in their children, teachers can enforce these values. Some parents who are disengaged from their children’s education also expect their kids to be passed along to the next grade regardless of their academic achievement. This kind of parental mindset transcends all socio-economic class boundaries. As a parent, it is your responsibility to teach your child to work hard and live according to a strong code of ethics. Otherwise, it’s like trying to build a house without first building a foundation.

Support teacher decisions. It’s perfectly natural for a parent’s pride to be wounded when his or her child fails in some way in school. And, unfortunately, it’s not uncommon for parents to react angrily towards the school when their children are punished for misbehavior. But this kind of reaction is almost always a big mistake and does children no favors. If you suspect a teacher is treating your child unfairly, then by all means sit in on a class or schedule a conference to get to the bottom of things. Children must learn to follow rules and to accept the consequences for not doing so. And by supporting a teacher’s fair decision, you create a united front that your child is far more likely to respect.

Commit to volunteer. The phrase is shop-worn by now, but it really does take a village to raise a child. Try your best to be not just a parent to your own child, but part of the “village” for all the children. Schools desperately need involved, committed, and dedicated parents. If you have a special skill that can be shared with your child and his or her school family, consider volunteering. The inner city school that I co-founded feels so strongly about parental involvement that it requires parents to volunteer a minimum of twice a year to enrich their school’s support network.

Parental apathy and even hostility are real concerns in today’s schools. The truth is, it’s very difficult for teachers to make children successful without the support of parents at home. Even in affluent households, where parents can afford private schools and tutors, kids are still kids. They need the involvement and commitment of their parents in order to develop the skills and values necessary to succeed in school and in life. It’s a principle that goes beyond socio-economics.

Still, the primary message of my book is one of hope. Because underprivileged kids are proving they can overcome terrible conditions, those of us born into more fortunate circumstances should never settle for less than our best. Many of the kids featured in Stand for the Best are rising to find their greatness. If they can do it, your kids can, too.