We never really got any training on how to apologize powerfully. Sure, all of us know how to say I’m sorry. But if you did your ex wrong and now you want them back, you’re going to need to say something much more powerful than I’m sorry.
There is a free course you can download instantly on this at Getting Your Ex Back In Hours.
There are, however, other levels of apologizing. There are much more impactful ways of saying Im sorry. When your relationship has ended because you did something wrong and your ex kicked you out, you will likely need to make a power apology.
Power apologies have several steps to them before you ever get around to saying I’m sorry. They can get your ex to a place of forgiveness and reconnection sometimes in just minutes or hours when followed step by step. Here are the crucial steps to apologizing in a way that can your ex to forgive you:
The first step in a Power Apology is to own up to what you did wrong. Don’t offer a bunch of stories or try to blame your ex “you were cold to me and I was drunk!” Fessing up to what you did wrong is powerful, it lets you mate know that you understand the core problem.
The second step is to mirror their feelings. This is powerful relationship intelligence. How do you mirror their feelings? You say something like I know what I did hurt you, and made you feel betrayed, and sad. You tell your ex how what you did made them feel. Mirroring their emotional state is potent emotional intelligence. Your ex will start to feel really heard.
The third step is to let them vent. Now you let them tell you how they feel about what you did wrong. You don’t argue, you dont defend yourself, you let them get their angry and hurt feelings off their chest. Your only job here is to make them feel heard and understood.
To understand more about the power of venting, you can check out the information at a site on Relationship Intelligence.
If you have followed these first three steps, you are well on your way to making an apology that will get accepted and lead to forgiveness. By this point you have not tried to blame or defend yourself to your ex for what you did wrong. You have been an adult and taken responsibility. At some level they will respect this. Then you have surprised them by mirroring their feelings, so they are feeling like you understand them. And finally, you have listened to them, let them vent and get things off their chest.
Once you have done these three things, you are now ready to actually apologize. And your apology will much more likely be accepted, which can lead your ex back into your arms fast.
Part 2 of this article discusses the steps to take after you’ve apologized, and it can be seen here at Get Ex Back Part 2.
