Torsey's Blog

As a psychologist and counselor practicing in the Woodstock-Cary-Algonquin-Crystal Lake and Lake in the Hills areas of Illinois, I find that there are 21 essentials you can expect when receiving counseling for problems in your blended family.

But first, what are the signs of blended family problems?
1.Conflicting parenting practices between biological and stepparents
2.Child rejects the stepparents disciplinary practices
3.Biological parent foments dislike for stepparent
4.Biological and stepparent compete for power and control
5. Conflict develops among the children in the blended family
6. Ex-spouse interferes with the blended familys lifestyle
7. Childs behavior problems become personalized by the adults, causing fracture within the family system

If this sounds like your family, you should seek counseling. But when you begin treatment, what will your counselor do? How does marriage and family counseling for blended families work?

1.Your therapist will help you to identify the positives and negatives of the stepparents disciplinary procedures..

2.You counselor will create a neutral zone so family members can express themselves without fear of retaliation.

3.Your therapist may train you in certain communication skills to build the relationship between relevant spouses.

4.The marriage or family counselor will likely facilitate a healthy dialogue among disgruntled children and any step or adoptive parent.

5.Your family or marital counselor will likely help the children explore any feelings of conflict or disloyalty regarding biological parents.

6.Your psychologist or counselor will probably facilitate a healthy release of any of the childrens fear of abandonment or displaced anger that may be inhibiting acceptance of their stepparents directives.

7.Parents will be helped to identify and resolve conflicts between themselves in parenting strategies.

8.The stepparents disciplinary strictness or rigidity will be assessed as to whether it may be creating resistance on the part of the child.

9.Your therapist may assess the degree to which an ex-spouse may be unfairly blamed for parenting problems existing within the blended family.

10.The counselor will help the parents identify and resolve any insecurity or jealousy regarding warmth displayed between a parent and stepchild.

11.Your psychologist may invite a former spouse or biological parent into a joint session with other biological or stepparents in order to discuss and resolve differences in parenting philosophies and techniques.

12.You may be asked to consider any potential manipulation of the child in playing one parent against the other for territorial or power advantages.

13.The children will likely be reassured that they are not responsible for their parents conflicts and that these conflicts do not reflect adversely on their parents love for them.

14.The children may be asked to express directly or through a letter the foundation of their feelings for being treated unfairly by a stepparent.

15.You may be encouraged to negotiate with the children as to actions that they may perceive as fairer to them.

16.Your therapist may suggest a list of special activities that the parent and stepchildren can do to reduce any feelings of alienation.

17.Parents may be encouraged to behave assertively toward children from whom they are afraid of receiving a negative response.

18.The therapist may help you to identify self-defeating patterns relevant to your parenting skills that may exist in your blended family and suggest ways of modifying them.

19.The therapist may prescribe psychological testing for some members of the family, children or parents, to expose any factors that may be neglected in isolating the causes of the family strife.

20.You will be helped to identify sources of ongoing support and reassurance to effectively improve and hone your parenting skills.

21.If you are engaging in any unusual parenting strategies, their methods and effects will be reviewed to be sure that they are contributing efficiently to the well-being of the family.

Family Tree provides detailed information on the families past history. To organize your research you need to create a worksheet of your family tree. There are many tools to use to help start the process of your family tree, they are not expensive and widely available, and they are great tools for organizing. Studying genealogy will give you the knowledge you will need to understand your ancestry, and it will help in creating the family tree. The family tree is a graphical representation of how the family fits and is related to each other. To make it easier it is a good idea to separate the generations, this will make it easier for tracing the family roots. By seeing the generations it is a good rule of thumb of you your family tree will be formed and how extensive it is. Use a family tree to elaborate on how each of us is connected to each other. The family tree is a great tool for showing children how the family is related plus it give a perspective of how the family was formed..

There are plenty of websites that have great tools to use to keep you organized with your records. Keeping records is very important, along with maintaining them in a secure and good condition.

When searching for information about families the most common type of information that is found is that information that is public. Full names are also essential. As you go through old letters, many of the names will be completely unfamiliar to you. Include any dates; also take note of the addresses on envelopes, and the dates the letters were posted. Names can get you into a muddle if several of your ancestors share a name. Genealogy is now becoming popular for many people. Searching for your past and for ancestors is very fun; many people find it interesting and a great way to learn about their history.

One of the easiest and cost effective way to start is to talk to living relatives and pick their brains about past relatives. Watch for free genealogical courses at your local library. Now that family tree research is so popular, many libraries hold short courses (lasting a couple of hours) on how to conduct library research. Try entering the names into any of the online search resources you’re no doubt familiar with. One of the reasons so many people get frustrated with their family tree research is that they simply can’t find much – if anything – online. It’s possible you’ll find an Internet cousin or two on this site. Sharing research is an excellent technique for getting faster results.

There is no need to place expensive phone calls or travel to all parts of the world just to meet your distant cousins. A lot of family tree software can be bought at reasonable prices, and some are free. Most family tree maker software is completely customizable. Most software have some type of safety precautions so you don’t loose your work, many come with a backup utility so you save your work to a separate file. Family tree software is widely available and can be very affordable.

Romantic ocean breezes, a midnight walk on deck, dazzling dinners at the Captain’s table, and days full of planned activities which the kids will love. These days, cruises are not just for singles, honeymoon couples, or senior citizens. Most major cruise lines have discovered that families are a great market for spectacular and fun cruises, and developed special tour and cruise offerings that cater to family fun. If you are considering a cruise vacation for your family, here are some tips and suggestions that can make your travel experience a wonderful family memory.1. Include the family in the planning.

A great way to ensure that your children will love the activities that you plan for them is to include their ideas in the planning process. By the time kids are old enough to have opinions; they will enjoy any trip more if they have a hand in the choosing. Gather information about various cruises and destinations that fit into your budget and encourage the children to offer some suggestions. It’s a great way to find out that your eight year old is a budding archaeologist with an affinity for the Nile, or your fourteen year old dreams of seeing the Northern Lights. Even if their only input is to suggest the cruise ship with the full theme park on Deck Three, you’ll know what’s important to them when booking your cruise.2. Choose a kid-centered cruise.

Most cruise lines allow children. Some cruise lines even specialize in catering to families with children. When you’re cruising with a family in tow, it’s important to choose a cruise line that designs activities for children. While long, lazy days at sea with nothing to do may be your idea of heaven, your children probably need more stimulation. Besides the activities planned by the cruise line, your children will also have the benefit of the other kids onboard to share the experience with. Any experienced cruise traveler can tell you, half the fun is in the people that you meet on board the ship.3. Consider how much togetherness you want.

The most attractive family cruise programs feature a well-rounded selection of activities geared to all members of the family. The activities offered are likely to include “family activities” for parents and kids together, as well as a variety of things for kids to do without parents in tow. In addition, there will be activities geared to all age groups, from toddlers to teens – with and without parents. That provides “couple time” for mom and dad, as well as time for each person in the family to pursue their own interests. Look for a family centered cruise that offers the degree of togetherness that’s right for your family, and a wide range of activities that everyone can enjoy.4. Put safety up front.

When choosing a family cruise, ask hard questions about how the cruise line provides for the safety of your children. Are their activity counselors trained to work with children in the age group with which they are working? Is each activity staffed with trained counselors/guides who are certified in first aid and safety? Does the company do thorough background checks on any person who is hired to work with your children? Don’t make assumptions – get assurances. The following are some questions that the cruise line should be able to answer:

- How are counselors working with children trained?

- What background checks do you perform for the employees who work with children?

- Do your cruise counselors have first aid and safety training?

- If babysitting is available, what background checks are done for babysitters?

- What safety measures are in use to keep track of children while they are in the care of ship staff?

- Do you require parents to check children in and out of activity areas and activities?5. Kids’ menus, cabins and other practicalities.

Before you make your final decision on a family cruise, look into the availability of any special needs your children may have. If you’re booking with a line that caters to children, you can expect them to have a children’s menu – but that might not be all you need. If your child needs a special diet because of allergies, religion, health or just overall pickiness, it’s important to know that those foods will be available for your child. Likewise, it’s important to know the cruise line’s policy on adults and children in rooms – some, for instance, require an adult in each room where children are staying, which may mean the entire family sharing a room.

Family cruises are growing in popularity year by year, and why not? They offer an all-inclusive vacation experience that the whole family can enjoy. Shop around for the cruise that offers the best deal for your family, and have a great time.

When it comes to personal web hosting, we are talking about using web space not only for keeping in contact with family and close friends, but also a promotional tool for your professional image.
A personal web site could be very useful in promoting your professional image to potential employers and business contacts. The look of a personal URL and e-mail would definitely benefit your image as a professional. Part of the image of successful professionals nowadays is a good personal website.
Another side of personal hosting is family website creation and hosting to stay connected with friends and family. In this day and age family members are becoming spread out around the globe. Going to college in another part of the country or taking a job on another continent, families become disconnected.
With a family web site, all members of a family can stay in contact with one another. Sure, there is email and telephones, but with family web site hosting you can stay connected with everyone at once sharing photos, videos, exchange messages or even chat live – anytime of day.
Some web hosts even have professional genealogy features to start your own online family tree.
With personal web hosting many face the dilemma of choosing between free or paid web hosting. Although the costs associated with paid web hosting is rather small, it’s still money.
If you are just starting your experience with the World Wide Web, or if you are setting up a web site with only close friends and family as intended audience, a free personal web host or a low cost web host might just do it for you. These are just a few of the examples of having a good reason to publish your web site with a free personal web-hosting provider.
Free personal web hosts or a good budget web host has helped thousands of people to be acquainted with the Internet experience, as first cradles for their web presence. This is one of the reasons free personal web hosts have contributed to the overall popularity of the Internet.
One good suggestion when researching a family web-hosting site is the site is easy to customize and manage. You do not want to spend time learning web publishing tools or becoming a web wizard – you want connection with your family – the most important reason for having this web site.
Get everyone in your family connected and preserve your family history with a family web site. A web host that offers security with your own private password protected web site is the way to go. Security with family website creation and hosting is important to keeping your memories safe.
There are many web hosts on the internet ranging from free services to paid. If you are looking at a paid hosting site, check to see if they offer a low family fee instead of a fee for each family member. Having a family web site created and hosted on the internet will enable your family and friends to create a lasting gallery of life’s special moments.

Since the TV series “Roots”, there has been a surge of interest in tracing family roots and history. Autograph collecting has been one of the avenues used to record this history. Now every other family seeks to have some kind of reunion once a year, every two years, or in rare cases every five years.Many exchanges are made at these reunions including autographs. Other items may be collected such as old letters, birth certificates, wedding documents, and baptism records. Some of these reunions and family affairs such as weddings, anniversaries, graduations, and other special programs provide many different ways for those who are autograph collecting to get autographs. There are planned programs with pictures of participants and those who are being honored or remembered. These printed programs and pictures can be items used for autograph collecting. Some families maintain a scrap book with these signatures and pictures for reference information on the family.How many times have you been to a family function and did not know all of the family who were present? Autograph collecting is a super way to get to know family and to have something to remember one by as a point of reference. If you are from a large family, autograph collecting may be the only avenue available to you to make some personal contact in a short period of time. Many collectors record information about the person on the back including date, place, and the relation.When the person dies, the death date and cause of death may also be recorded on the back or somewhere close to the picture. Even before death, if you can record tidbits of information about the person, it may prove to be beneficial down the road. These tidbits of information may include the person’s profession, health information, interests and anything else important to family. If you use autograph collecting to its fullest, you may just become the family historian and be contacted from time to time for some of this information that you have gathered. This kind of autograph collecting records a lot of health information about the family in most cases.Health professions have long known that the family blood line is the cause of many health problems. Rare diseases – like hemophilia, cystic fibrosis, and sickle cell anemia may have been in the family at one time. If you let your autograph collecting reflect family diseases, such as heart disease, cancer, and diabetes your time will be one of the best investments you could make. Tracing the illnesses suffered by parents, grandparents may help the doctor to predict your risk for having these diseases. In your autograph collecting some of this information can be recorded when it becomes available. Very few people take the time to look on the back of a photo. Nevertheless, in addition to the signature on the picture, you will find it worth while if you provide a tag under each picture with name, date, and activity. Again there is no doubt that this kind of autograph collecting is one of the most valuable and rewarding investments you can make as a collector. That information will satisfy the average browser.

Article Source : http://blogatme.com/2008/08/26/all-about-autograph-collecting-and-family-history/

There are many things that bring joy (and sometimes chaos) about The Holiday Christmas Season: friends, coworkers, crazy shopping days, religious celebrations, and Holiday Parties. But, above all, the thing that makes Christmas so special is the time we get to spend with our families. As a retailer, the Holiday Christmas Season is the busiest time of the year for me. However, come Christmas Eve day, I finish my work and spend the entire week with my family. Thus, I am dedicating this week’s column to great Family Christmas Gift ideas. When you are buying a gift for one person, you can think about their individual likes and dislikes and buy accordingly. However, buying Christmas Gifts for the Family is a whole different ballgame indeed. For example, I have one very studious son and one very athletic son. Their interests have virtually no overlap. When we add my daughter and my wife into the equation, we now have many disparate tastes. So, how do we come up with a gift idea that the whole family will love? My wife and daughter enjoy clothes and jewelry. My one son values interesting books while the other finds contentedness in the latest Wii Sports Video game. I find that most of you out there share my situation. So what should we do? Are there gifts out there that the whole family can enjoy together? Fortunately, the answer is yes. I have compiled a Top Ten Family Christmas Gifts list (see below) but I have two primary recommendations for Family Christmas Gifts this year. The first Family Christmas Gift recommendation is Trivial Pursuit Family Edition. Unlike some of the Trivial Pursuit Editions, which contain very difficult questions that alienate many people, the Trivial Pursuit Family Edition seems designed exactly with my Holiday intentions in mind: Spending quality time with the family that is enjoyable by all. This game touches on all facets that my family enjoys: sports, fashion, and academia to name a few. They even have some retailing questions which “old dad” does pretty well at. You should buy the Trivial Pursuit Family Edition soon as Christmas supplies often run low. My other Family Christmas Gift recommendation this year is board game called Blokus Classic. This game has been touted as one of “the most celebrated games of the 21st century”. I have to admit that I am not generally a huge fan of Board Games but Blokus Classic really captured me. My whole family enjoyed it as it can be played by those as young as 5 years old. What is Blokus Classic? Well, it’s a board game that requires lots of spatial type of thought. As such, it is not biased towards any age. In fact, sometimes my kids are better than me! We play it as a group of 4 but it also can be enjoyed with as little as 2 people. The game typically takes about 30 minutes and ends when one player gets rid of all of their pieces. It can be so addictive that immediately after you finish, you will want to play again. With Blokus Classic and Trivial Pursuit Family Edition under your Christmas tree, you are sure to enjoy wonderful times with your family over these Christmas Holidays–and that is what Christmas is all about!

A close knit family is a source of great joy and fun. To keep the source perennial, family bonds need to be forged and strengthened over time. And the best way to achieve this is through family fun activities. You can carry out several such activities in the form of family games, travel, outings and cooking together. Importance of Family Fun Activities Family fun activities help build several sweet and lasting memories. Your children will carry these pleasant memories into adulthood. They will also learn a lot about the values of bonding.  Elderly members will love such activities as it will bring them out of their slow and dreary existence. When you enjoy activities with them, they will feel less forlorn. The Best Way of Having Family Fun If you keep your family fun activity cheap, simple, and together, you can enjoy it the most. With inexpensive family fun activities you can look forward to have more such activities within a short span of time. However, an expensive activity, once in a while, will add spice to your bout of activities. Types of Family Fun For frequent family activities, you need to look for opportunities, around your community. You can look for annual events or visit to community parks.  Also keep note of school or church activities. These may range from concerts to plays and musical programs to exhibitions.  Take your family out to any one of these and help them enjoy the outing. When you plan activities with your family, you can also include friends. Together you can partake in kickball game or backyard treasure hunt. Dividing the participants into father’s team and a mother’s team, and watching one over triumph over the other can be great fun in your own back yard. Elders can sit and have fun watching young ones in action. A trip to the amusement park can be highly entertaining.  Here you can have wild, bold and daring fun with your children. A great and simple way to involve seniors in your fun activity is to take them out for a walk to the park. You can sit and have a chat with them, while your children play around. This can do a world of good to drive their loneliness out. When you play indoor family games, you can also get them involved and help them have a chuckle or two. Once a while, take a leave and plan a vacation with your family members. Choose a place where both young and old can enjoy alike. Nothing can keep you and your family happier, than having few fun filled activities often.

The first step to any kind of family financial peace is the creation of the family budget. With today’s go-go-go lifestyle keeping track of income and expenses is a necessity. Too many families get into financial messes simply because they do not have any idea where their money is going until it is gone.When you first build your family’s budget plan you may be met with a certain amount of resistance simply because a lot of people have an aversion to the word “budget”. The thing to remember as the builder of the budget that you need to pass along is that this new way of dealing with money is not a set in stone law. A budget is simply a tool that allows you to see where your money is going and how you can better manage it. There is a certain amount of give and take, or fluidity, to a budget because it is constantly changing with the needs of your family.The first thing you and your family need to understand is that a family budget is a long term solution to many financial problems. It will give your family a solid financial future which will benefit all members.The best way to do this is to talk to your family about what type of financial goals your family should have and any budgetary constraints you are facing at the moment. Lay it all out for everyone to see, from mortgage payments and other bills to long term financial goals that include retirement and college funding. If you can help them see the whole picture and how they fit into it your chances of successfully building a family budget are much greater.If build an environment in which your entire family is working together for one common financial goal a budget will be much easier to incorporate. A good way to do this is to have each family member create their own mini-budget so they can better understand how their spending may be affecting the big picture. If they can find places to cut back on this can be translated into the overall family budget.One way to rein in an over exuberant child who thinks money just magically appears out of the ATM machine is to have them budget their own allowance. If a child has to use their own money to buy the things they will soon learn the value of money. Not only will this go a long way to helping the family budget it will start to teach them how to manage money which will stay with them into their adult life.As you build your family budget you will see patterns of spending start to emerge. Pay close attention to these and see if some of them are really necessary. Often times the things you are taking most for granted, such as eating out, will eat up a large portion of your monthly income. For a regular sized family eating out for one night could often buy enough groceries to last for almost a week.Building a family budget is the first step to taking control of your financial future. Only when you know where the money is going can you take control of the situation and make your money work for you.

Nothing is more fun and exciting than getting together with family on a Friday night and having a great time. Order a pizza, pick up some pop and a movie, and settle in for a great evening of family activity! There are countless options that can make for a wonderful family fun night, too. Let the kids pick an activity for a change or schedule it so that a different family member gets to pick the activity for each different family fun night.
There are several things you can do to ensure that family fun time goes off without a hitch and becomes a planned activity for the whole family, each and every week. The first thing you need to do to accomplish this is to plan for it, of course.
Plan Ahead
Most people have extremely busy lives and are juggling soccer practice with piano lessons and homework. For today’s busiest families, the prospect of family fun time might seem like a distant fantasy instead of a reality. With a little bit of planning and dedication to family, however, family fun night can become a reality and can be a functioning part of your family’s schedule. The first step to making this happen is setting aside some time for it.
Set aside a weekend night, preferably. Family fun nights work best on Friday nights or Saturday nights, as most people are home from their work week and their school week. Kids and adults alike are ready to unwind and relax for the weekend, making Fridays the ideal night for ordering takeout and playing board games.
Setting aside one night a week is a good first step, but that night needs to be effectively reserved for family fun night. Yes, there will be scheduling conflicts and there will be situations that will come up and interfere with family fun night. Treat family fun night like it is the most important part of the schedule because, in many ways, it is. Schedule time with friends, piano lessons, karate practice, and other events around family fun time and make your family’s time together a top priority in your weekly planning.
Get Creative
There are several activities that you can plan for family fun night. Sometimes the activity may be simple, like pizza and a great movie. Other times, you may plan something a touch more intricate, like rock climbing or miniature golf. Regardless of the planning, it is important to ensure that each family member has a say in the activity. For this reason, scheduling the “activities coordinator” is a great idea. Let your son pick the activity for the upcoming family fun night, followed by your daughter’s plans for the following week and your husband’s plans for the week after that. Scheduling the planning process gets everyone involved.
Family activities can be anything from watching a movie to putting together a dollhouse or building something cool. The sky is the limit in terms of ideas for family fun, so get creative and involve the whole family in putting aside great family time!

Family Asset Protection Survival Guide:Courts know Asset Protection and Asset Management and it’s allocation can protect you.That’s why it’s very important that an individual or a family know Asset Protection is there to protect rights over there asset’s.Some people and familys are fooled into thinking there is nothing they can do to protect themselves.Be well informed and know that by receiving help it will protect the asset’s of you and your family’s finances.Don’t make mistakes when it comes to protecting yourself and your family’s finances.It’s very important that you be in the know of your rights, Also the rights of your family.Learn to use your rights, Also use Asset Protection to protect your familys precious property and finances.Some familys will loose there rights and everything to the legal system.Why?Because they don’t understand that they can protect there finances and asset’s from the court system.There are almost always laws in place in most states and countrys that will help you to protect your asset’s.You may need help to make the right choices to protect yourself.Don’t be the one family that has judgment entries and foreclosure against them.All because you didn’t know how to use your rights to protect your family and assets.Asset Protection can help you to allocate your familys asset’s.Be the safe family not the household that losses everything.Why do that when you can protect yourself and your familys well being now.Learn as much as you can about Asset Protection to protect yourself and your family and relatives.You can stand up and know that you know yours and your family’s rights.The courts don’t want you to know how to protect yourself and family.But you can fight all of these things without Court, If you learn the ways of the wise and protect your family.They are being paid to keep you in the dark.When they are receiving revenue from you loosing your family property.  They don’t want you to know that it can be avoided.That’s right, There making money when you loose your possessions and your home to foreclosure.There sitting at your knees foaming at the mouth to get at you and your money.Don’t be a statistic, Let Asset Protection help you and your family now.Please, Don’t let them take you and your family to the cleaners like they have so many before.Do something about Courts taking your family’s house,Cars and valuables.Use Family Asset Protection: to protect your family’s finances and asset’s today.